Significant Other Moving In? Learning to Adjust

Is your significant other moving in? Learning to adjust may be one of the hardest things you think will be easy. When you have your own place and are spending more time with your loved one than you are on your own, the idea of moving in together and getting married may seem exciting. However, there are many things that come into play when it comes to learning to live together in harmony.

Maintaining Personal Space

No matter how much you prepare for your significant other to be sharing your place, nothing truly prepares you for the experience of having someone else there so much of the time. Little things that you did when you had the freedom of complete privacy may be out the door. Although they seemed trivial at the time, their importance can be magnified in the hindsight of loss. Also, little things like gabbing with friends without the listening ear of the one you love are gone. While you should be completely open with your partner, who doesn’t like private phone conversations? They can be had by going into another area of the house, but you never feel completely private once that significant other moved in as you did when you had your own space.

Therefore, it’s important to maintain your own space. Although you may not be able to afford two offices, you should set up space, even if it’s in the living room, as your own little corner for work or play. Therefore, if your honey is in the bedroom and you want your own respite to play a game or check your email, you have a private little nook where you can go.

Compromise

The little things are likely to drive you nuts at first. A partner who doesn’t replace the toilet tissue can grate on the nerves, as can someone who likes to keep an apartment freezing when you are consistently cold in the wintertime. Messing with the thermostat over and over again can tear up a heater and air conditioner. Instead, compromise. Buy a Snuggie to ward off the cold, and make sure that it’s your preferred temperature at least half the time, leaving your significant other to find a way to deal with your preferred temperature as well.

Renewed Commitment

Since you must truly love your partner to have gotten to this point in the relationship, it’s important to renew your commitment each morning. Even if you wake up to a drooling, snoring mess, remind yourself of the feelings you have. Don’t force yourself to feel something, allow yourself to feel how you actually do. You might want to center yourself until you are clear on your own feeling for the day. Be sure to let your partner know about this, and perhaps the two of you can do this ritual together.

Open Communication

Perhaps nothing is more crucial to the success of your home union than that of open communication. It’s vitally important to express how you feel in a kind and tactful way on a consistent basis. Praise the good things that your partner does. Appreciate even things that you think are common courtesy, as that encourages more of the same. Don’t be afraid to demand respect and praise for your own efforts as well. If something is wrong, you need to state that, too. Nothing will destroy the union quicker than continual pent-up frustration with the living situation. Let out anger and frustration, fix it and move on.